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ORGE JOESTAR
HALF HORSE H''' '''ALF HORSE '''is a novel written and illustrated by Yo Mama. The cover was drawn by Bumb ruh. It was released as part of the special fanfiction project. After Hol Horse's death, his son, Half-Horse Horse II (Half Horse) travels with Pesci to the Venezia in Spain on the island of Italy. There, he pledges his love to Speedwagon and eventually grows up to become a gambler named D'arby Jr. In another story, kid detective HO-OH Horse sets out on a bizarre quest to solve a murder in Morioh, which slowly turns into a universe-hopping adventure after the island begins moving on its own. SYNOPSIS The odd-numbered chapters of the story tell of how Half Horse, Speedwagon, and another girl named Johnny J Joestar grew up together, eventually leading to Half Horse joining the Royal Air Force and marrying Speedwagon. However, this time around, their wedding is threatened by a zombie invasion. Along the way he makes new friends, such as Joshu and Joesph, and gets framed for a murder. The other chapters, however, are another story altogether and considered the true story of the novel. Set in the 20th century after the world has been reset exactly '''thirty-six times, it focuses on kid detective Ho-oh Horse, who while investigating a recent string of incidents comes across a boy detective named Joshu, who has somehow travelled between universes. After he is found dead in Morioh, seemingly by Shegechi's hands, Ho-oh Horse heads to investigate. Along the way, Ho-oh Horse eventually reaches outer space, and meets 36 versions of Cars (Pixar TM), '''each from a different universe, one of which accompanies him back to Earth, all ending in a massive fistfight with Kira as he attempts to become the Holy Hand and gain unlimited power. CHARACTERS MAIN CHARACTERS * '''Half Horse: Otherwise known as Half-Horse Horse. His story takes a twisted turn as he grows up on the Spanish island of Italy, and goes by the name "Half Horse" instead of "Half-Horse Horse". * Ho-oh Horse: Ho-oh Horse is a 15-year old detective, and though of Pillar Man descent, he was adopted by The SCP Foundation and thus lives in Japan. He goes to 'The Green Sun' to investigate a murder, only to be thrown into the plot of lava. He has only ever appeared in the 34th and 44th universe resets, which is how he becomes the narrative's best friend. * Joshu Higashikata: '''Half Horse's best friend, also 24. He appears in other fanfictions made by Bum Ruh as a main and steamy character. Ho-oh Horse is called to 'The Green Sun' to investigate his murder. Has a mysterious habit of making everyone annoyed at him as his dumb fucking hairstyle. * '''Cars (Pixar TM): In every iteration of reality, Ceaser Zeppelli has beaten C'ars (Pixar TM)' who was thought to wander in space for all eternity frozen in stone, but has actually been landing on Kars and surviving. When the universe is reset, C'ars (Pixar TM) '''is immune as he is The Ultimate Being, resulting in a total of 44 C'ars (Pixar TM)' ending up on Kars. Noticeably, his eyes are Pool Balls that are constantly swapping between the set, and it becomes a defining trait. Ho-oh Horse speaks to him humbly, calling him "Mr. C'ars (Pixar TM)" or "C'''ars (Pixar TM)-''senpai''". He "remembers" Stands, and has the ability to steal another person's Stand if he chooses to. Most Stands that he steals will have "Ultimate" added to their name and for some reason grow three more heads, making the total amount of stand heads, 4. * J'orno Jiovanna': Jorno finds and meets Mario and asks for Ho-oh Horse's help to track down Doppio and his partner Frog. Unlike the original manga Jorno, he wears a black top. * Mario Mario: Has taken the apperance of Johnny Depp in 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factroy' but with a moustache and a yoshi themed suit. He's the one who called in about the murder on 'The Green Sun', which Kato reports about and is how Ho-oh Horse ends up there. In a relationship with Jesus from Ball Run. Unlike the original manga Mario, he has the stand At Hells Gate which acts the exact same as heavens door but looks like an Ompaloompa in monochromatic colors. * Shegechi: Seems to have the image of the Dead Man's Questions Shegechi. Coming with Deadly Queen post-Arrow with the ability to steal fingernails. Nonchalant, but once again obsessed with all the nails. On the 36th iteration, Deadly Queen is coaxed over and stolen by C'ars (Pixar TM),' and Shegechi becomes a bomb. ALLIES * Speedwagon: Only found in Half Horse's universe, known as Speedwagon to Half Horse. Has a stand called SpeedWagon which takes the form of speedwagon from the JoJo's Bizzare Adventure. It has the ability to steal any kind of hat along with giving encouraging words to the user. It also has a secondary ability where it is able to heat up anything to EXPONGED if it has physical contact with its abs. * StraightMan: Also only found in Half Horse's universe. Has a stand called You Fool which has the ability to thundercross split attack you from any distance away. It has infinite range in this regard yet it is unable to deflect or protect itself from upcoming attacks. * Johnny J Joestar: '''Original character. Grown up with Half Horse He has a Stand with no given name that makes people reenact the fanfiction 'Johnny and Gyro go to Olive Garden'. Later it is revealed that Jesus is also his Stand, named '''Olive Garden. Olive Garden functions similar to his other stand expect they are now at a Macdonalds. He has nightmares about olive garden (The place) regularly, which is what his scar from Ball Run looks like. * Hol Horse: There are two versions of Horse Horse in the story. The first is Half Horse's father, the original Hol Horse. His head was kept by Pesci and is implied to still be alive. In stealing his body, Kira also stole his Stand, The Hand. The other is an ancestor of HO-OH Horse going back six generations who died while stopping his adoptive brother Kira from committing a head robbery. * Pesci: There are also two versions of Pesci. The first is the original Pesci, who cares for Speedwagon, Half-Horse, and Johnny J Joestar. It is implied that this version of Pesci did have a stand yet it is never shown in the story. The other is again Ho-Oh Horse's Ancestor and is only capable of screaming "Aniki!". * Joesph Zepelli: Original character. Becomes Half Horse's friend. He is a pilot for the american airways. Has a stand called Purple Bubbles which creates a clouds of acid rain filled with lightning. It also has a secondary ability to tell the near future of up to 3 seconds. Has a hobbie of crashing planes. * J'oylene Kujoh': OC. Joesph's sister. She becomes friends with Half Horse after he breaks her out of jail accidentally. She was put in jail at an early age due to her murdering the majority of her family, failing to kill Joespeh. She has a stand called Sunshine which takes the form of a unicorn. * Rissotto Neroom: '''OC. Looks and behaves very similarly to the Rissotto from JJBA yet his last name is different and therefore an OC. He is another member of the Neroom family. He is engaged to Carne the meat man. * '''Rusty Mcgoo: Another of Half Horse's friends. Really likes Cars (Pixar TM). Doesn't have a stand. * Jesus: In HALF HORSE, Jesus is alive, and for some reason is a Stand. Despite this, he also has a Stand, FA3RP '''who's main ability is go into different universes/timelines/AUs. Currently in a relationship with '''Mario Mario. * Cinderella: An alternate universe incarnation of Bella. Her Stand is called Glass Slipper which functions as a huge glass slipper that Cinderella can steer and ride in. It is capable of going at very fast speeds yet is very prone to breaking and cracking. * Propellar Man: An alternate universe incarnation of Koichi Hirose. His Stand Blue Thunder is a head propeller that can only lift him off the ground by 1 meter. Like previous universe Koichi, this stand came from an egg. However this egg took 4 years to hatch. * Jotaro Cujoh: An alternate universe incarnation of Jotaro Kujo. His Stand Grand Bleu '''summons six somewhat disobedient dolphins named Ora, oRA, OrA, oRa, ORa, orA. Each Dolphin has its own personality, with each also having one A in different stats. All other stats of that dolphine are C. * '''Jouske Mujo: An alternate universe incarnation of Jouske. His Stand Fat Man takes the form of Yoshi from the game Super Mario but it is 6 foot tall and 5 foot wide. It is made of green jelly so it is unable to be ridden. Its ability allows it to consume. No one knows where the consumed goes it just, it just gets consumed. * Ned Kelly: Alternate universe Ned Flanders. His Stand Neighborino allows him to make everything left handed and the symbol 'Lefties Rise Up' will be engraved into their chest. He is enemies of Crzy chicken and is immune to the effects of Right Hand Man. * Proud Mum: Alternate universe. His Stand is now named Stepdad and is a masculine form of Stepo Mum which gets the divorce papers out in the blink on an eye. * Lion: Alternate universe. His Stand is Abba-Man '''and it allows the user to poke all the tiddes along with attacking everything Lion hates. This normally means it attacks just Jorno and Lion. * '''Mister: Alternate universe. His Stand The Emperor '''is the same as The Emperor from JJBA, and is basically just a gun with 4 bullets. These bullets come back to the user and shoot the user as well. * '''Orange Deku: Alternate universe. His stand Yellow Submarine is shaped like a submarine and can swim through bodies to cause internal damage with bullets and missiles. He can summon a fleet of rather small submarines, or combine them into one large entity capable of taking a few people inside. * FUGO: Alternate universe. His Stand Purple Money allows him to turn all money into poison gas as long as the money is made of pure copper. * MusicMAAN: Alternate universe version of Soundman who is also an astronaut. He has a "Bound" named Dr Bees which allows him to control and turn into a keleton at will. * Crzy Chicken: Alternate universe version of Pocoloco who is also an astronaut. His Stand Right Hand Man is a group of semi-robotic Right Hands who will always give you a thumbs up in a time of need and will agrave 'Righties Rise Up' into backs of all seen as an enemy. Crzy Chicken is immune to the effects of Neighborino . Crzy chicken is enemies with Ned Kelly. * Scotty Blazer: An original character. Wields the stand Gamer 'which allows him to feel the pain of any fictional character himself. Every time he does this he says the phrase "So real it hurts" or "Blaze 'n' Burn". ENEMIES * '''Kira ': Several, in fact: ** Spooky'' Blood'' Kira, who became the Ultimate Lifeform and then a monster. He can be considered the main villain. His Stand 'The Hand '''allows him to predict his opponents' hand actions. It should be noted that, while Kira has The Kira, he still maintains The Fucking Powerfull, albeit with the ability to explode things in a radius of 50m as opposed to his previous limit actual touch. He also has another Stand resembling the Holy Hand, which he later attempts to fuse with. Don't ask how he attempts to fuse with a hand, he tries and fails. ** A fake Kira that appears in one iteration of ''MoonDrop Men, made of half of Kira's soul and Jorno's body. This kira is obsessed with his dream and to achieve any and all goals. It is not clear what his dream or goals are. ** Ho-Oh Horse-universe Kira who was a Head robber who went insane after seeing his step-brother Hol Horse die trying to stop him from robbing a Morgue. There were rumours that he tried to kill the president of America before he got put in hospital. * '''Wamuwu: Became an astronaut in this universe. His Stand is Shadow when he first appears in the story, and later evolves into Don't Step in My shadow, but it is eventually stolen by Cars (Pixar TM) and transformed into Don't Step in My Shadow Requiem. Its ability was never known but it was know that it was triggered when anyone stepped in wamuwu's shadow. * Doppio: There are just as many Doppios as there are Cars (Pixar TM), but only the ones that completely disengaged from Diavolo survived the events of Platinum Breeze. Only two or three are known: the original Doppio (who is still in his cycle of unending deaths from Gold Experience Requiem), a Doppio who split from Diavolo to possess Jorno, and a Doppio that Ho Horses's universe's Passione is pursuing. It's unknown if the Doppio possessing Jorno and the one that the Ho-oh Horse's universe Passione are after are the same person, or if they are just both connected to the alternate universe Jorno who also exists. * Frog: Frog is a recurring character in the story. He is partners with Doppio and is seen frequently with him. He posses a stand called The Moss that allows him call any one creature to him. The creature that he calls is always random and has led in the past to some awkward situations. * Diavolo: Specifically, the one from the Doppio-possessing-jorno timeline. He has an unnamed Stand that allows him to transform any object into a a small version of him. Mario Mario attempts to use At Hells Gate, on him only to read the complete manga of Vento Aureo ''where he and doppio have switched places. * '''Funny Christmas': There are two Funny Christmas's in HALF HORSE. The first one has a stand called $20 is $20 which gives him the ability to make him swap places with a person of his choosing. He was nearly killed by an insane man while overseeing Ball Run. The second appears older and with a different Stand, Santa's Little Helper, which allows him to kill all children in a radius from him. He can't kill his descendants however. Both were Presidents of the United States. * Funnier Halloween: The son of the second Funny Christmas listed above. He is an astronaut and is 50 years old. His Stand Pump-King, takes the form of a tall lanky figure with a jack-o-lantern as a head. It has an ability to make take out sugar from a persons blood stream and then transform it into candy corn. * The Funniest Birthday: The Funniest is Funnier's son and the elder Funny's grandson. His Stand is He's a Jolly Good Fellow, allows him to revive children in a radius of him if they died within 24, however if they died of Santa's Little Helper, they can not be revived. * Cioccolata: Alternate universe version of Cioccolata who has a cornrow hairstyle. He is a former drug lord, and is involved in drug trafficking in the United States and terrorism. His Stand Dunsparce Is useless all the time unless it is not. * Secco ''': Alternate universe version of Secco who is dressed in bondage gear. He has a history of eating all the candy. His Stand '''Blue Friday, is in the shape of a giant lollipop with its swirls spiralling in the shape of the golden rectangle, and can hide things from a certain vantage point. * HHAAMM: Alternate universe version of Pork. Strangely, the rest of Squadra Esecuzioni never shows up. HAAM is one of Cioccolata's assistants. His Stand Bacon Rain allows him to make it rain chocolate rain. * Red Menace An original character. A boy on La Palma who teases Half Horse when he is growing up. He possesses a Wound that gives him big strong hands and a single big strong inflamed toe. It has the strength to submerge a continent at will. * Dr Frog: A man who had been in the Science business in England but went bankrupt, and washed up at La Palma. He becomes a mad scientist and teams up to make the super evil squad. Does not have a stand but instead uses his inventions to try and kill people. His inventions normally end up blowing up in his face. * RATED A FOR AWESOME: A high school student who wants to become an awesome person. He fails a lot which makes him a bad. He hates Half Horse cause he is awesome and he is not. * Carne: Original character. Engaged to Rissotto. He has a stand that allows him to transform in the kraken at will, however being the kraken is tiring so he can only be it if he has enough energy. He despises Half Horse for ruining his plan wooing Speedwagon and is generally agreed by most if not all of the characters to be a meat man. NOTABLE EVENTS I''t is very very cannon'' With the information above in mind, the following scenarios also take place: * The 44 Cars (Pixar TM) living on Kars are presumably the 44 souls of the victims that Kira required for his plan to have a peaceful life. * The Kira of Part 3 was not the real Kira but rather Jorno Jiovanna with a part of Kira's soul inside his body; Spooky Blood Kira becomes the Ultimate Life Form, gaining the Stand "The Hand", which resembles Jesus Christ. The Hand has the ability to view the complete future of all mankind. ** The corpse parts of Ball Run are of his or another Kira's dead hands, which Hol Horse soon combines with after being resurrected and also gains "The Hand". * 'The Green Sun' and Passione's island headquarters both suddenly sprout legs from their foundations and split from the mainland, walking the 'Even Bigger Green Sun'. They eventually encounter one another, which is how the heroes are able to meet one another. Later we learn the same has happened to London and New Zealand Island. * One version of Jorno Jiovanna is now host to Doppio as an alternate personality, as that Doppio was a renegade Stand to {EMPEROR CRIMSON HAS ERASED THIS STAND}. As a result, the Diavolo from that universe became a separate entity with his own Stand, one capable of transforming objects into mini versions of himself (which, according to pictures, is no different from what the original Doppio did to communicate with Diavolo). It's unknown if he remained Passione's underboss in that universe or was replaced by the Doppio-possessed Jorno. * Out of the 44 Doppios, only two seem to survive: the above Doppio, and the original Doppio, who continues to die from the effects of Gold Experience Requiem through the resets. Supposedly, others exist, but due to Emperor Crimson, only the Doppios that never split from Diavolo suffer the endless fate. TRIVIA * As Pesci and Half Horse Horse move to the Italy Islands, he is renamed "Half Horse", the Spanish equivalent of "Half Horse Horse", despite its completely different pronunciation in Spanish. * As far as HoHo'''s Crazy Times ''as a series goes, the ''HOL HORSE ''novel is considered the most cannon from the events of the canon, with its own exclusive plot elements and characteristics. * The novel seems to rely heavily on a meta-narrative, often making very plot significant allusions to the fact that it is a work of nonfiction, and frequently hinting at other fanfictions